Faith, Family and Cancer

I have heard of cancer, back when I was little, cancer was a death sentence. Nobody wants to talk about it.  Nobody wants to be associate with it, perhaps I can say now, nobody know much about it back then.  Now, I think many of us has been touched by cancer, someone we love, someone we know, perhaps some of us is a cancer survivor or battling cancer at this moment.
My family is a typical Asian family, consist of single breadwinner while my mom stayed and took care of us.  We are sheltered I might say, we don't have lots of things in life but we have each other.  We were happy in our own little ways.  I moved away from home and country almost a decade ago, so my line of communication with my family is through daily group text and occasional phone calls.  One of my calls back home, my mom complained about her unusual urine color.  It was very yellow like "teh c", this she referred to coffee shop drink, milk tea looking liquid. I wasn't too alarm at first, I just had a baby a year ago and I was preoccupied with my two young children. I thought that it was just high vitamin-C content that actually cause our urine to be bright yellow than normal.  I went and google online, and seems like lack of water also make our urine turn yellowish.  So, I told my mom that it might be nothing too serious but she must by all means go see a doctor.
"But I didn't feel any pain at all," she replied.
"It doesn't matter, you just let the doctor check on you and tell you if everything is ok," I said.

The next phone call we have was after the doctor visits and few x-rays. My mom said that her doctor saw her bile was swollen and there was something blocking the bile duct.  He referred her to a specialist at Gleneagle hospital for surgery.  My mom, who has never has surgery in her life, totally devastated about the whole ordeal.  It took few days for her to decide to go for surgery. The first surgery was to reduce inflammation on her bladder, this by relieving blockage in the duct so to let waste and fluid pass through them normally. After this surgery, my mom urine color went back to normal again.

During one of her review, doctor noticed she has jaundice too.  Apparently, this was common when there is obstruct bile duct or inflamed liver. There was regular visits to her doctor to monitor the bilirubin level before she has the clear to go for surgery.  By the end of 3rd visits, my mom was so ready to go for surgery.  It took few more visit before her bilirubin was at a level where its safe to perform surgery.  After almost a month, the doctor finally schedule a surgery date.  My mom talked to me several times a week for comfort and encouragement.  I can sense her nervousness and vulnerability. My mom who has always been sure and strong now leaning on us for support.  My heart ache but I pull myself together and be as calm as possible answering her worries with words I learn from books and some I heard many times in the course of my life,
"It will be ok"
"God will watch after you"
"The doctors know what they are doing"
"Medical technology is so advance now, you have nothing to worry about."
At some point, I was comforting both of us as I too don't know how this surgery going to be.

After my mom admitted to the hospital and to OR, we waited for result, my dad never left "her side".  He walked the hospital hallway, visited cafeteria and being the friendly guy that he is, he made friends with many of the healthcare team.

After what seems to be eternity, the doctor came out and my mom moved to ICU to "rest and recuperate".  We were told that the surgery went well, they removed cyst that blocked her bile duct and send the specimen for lab test.  All was ok, so we thought at first.
The storm came few days after when my mom complained about difficulties in breathing. Doctor thought it was just fluid in her lung, this is just a common side affect after surgery. After few more days, her breathing became more shallow and really difficult.  My mom was put under medical comatose to help with healing.  My sister told me that she cannot bear sight of her looking so weak like that.  We were all so scare, all we can do was pray, pray for healing, pray for strength, pray for my mom.  After few days not knowing what was going on, the doctor came to tell my dad my mom need another surgery as he suspect something amiss during the first one.  After the 3rd surgery, doctor found some stitches inside were loose, so some fluid leaks causing my mom respiratory issue. My dad asked the doctor, how he knew about it (something not right about the surgery).  The doctor explained, that he cannot rest and kept worry about my mom, then it just came to him the only way to find out is to perform another surgery.
We thought this must be the end, my mom will be ok now.  I book a flight and came home 5 days after the surgery, this was after I heard my mom voice recording that she's awake and there's no need to come home.

There's other news came after the lab report, the cyst that was removed was confirmed cancerous. Doctor told us my mom has pancreatic cancer.  I am not familiar with this type of cancer as it is very rare and consider deadly if it not detected early on. We all spend lots of time googling about pancreatic cancer, what is the cure, how to manage pain etc.

This is what I found:
Pancreatic cancer begins in the tissues of your pancreas — an organ in your abdomen that lies horizontally behind the lower part of your stomach. Your pancreas releases enzymes that aid digestion and hormones that help manage your blood sugar.
Treatment may include surgery, chemotherapy, radiation therapy or a combination of these.


Symptoms

Signs and symptoms of pancreatic cancer often don't occur until the disease is advanced. They may include:
- Pain in the upper abdomen that radiates to your back 
Loss of appetite or unintended weight loss
- Depression
- New-onset diabetes
- Blood clots
- Fatigue
- Yellowing of your skin and the whites of your eyes (jaundice)

In yellow is what my mom experience before her diagnoses.

After reading the symptoms in mayo clinics website,  I realize my mom has some but not all the signs.  She never feel any pain, no sign of diabetes and consider healthy before this.  My mom has always been good with vitamins supplements, being active at church and at home, she's a non smoker and never drinks.  Overall, we never suspect any of this.  But alas this happened to least among us, they said.  We braced ourself and managed this new normal together.  

Chemotherapy was scheduled, doctors reviews, strict diet regimen, medications.  There was financial implication with hospital bills.  Gleneagle is a private hospital, with it came a hefty hospital bills.  If it's not for my parents prudent saving, this might not be possible. I wonder if my parents hasn't been a saver when they are younger, things might end differently. My dad was a government staff before he retired, he never own insurance, he never has life insurance or medical insurance, medical cards or any of that.  He always thought that being a pensioner on government pay, they will continue to care for them when they are ill.  There is always government hospital, QE Hospital.  he issue with the government hospital is that there's a long list of patients that have the same needs, there's very little hope my mom will get treated and by the time it did, it might be too late. I think one advice I have for myself and others in same situation is there is no guarantee in life.  Government staffs also need insurance, specifically medical insurance.  This will save you and your family stress over money, unnecessary distress when you have medical issue to worry about.  Do yourself a favor and sign up for a medical card, especially when you have family background of serious health issue like cancer.

My family is a champ, my dad especially so brave and so good, such a brick! My brothers and sister taking turn watching, taking care of mom and dad.  I feel comforted knowing my mom and dad both in good hands even after I left. With a heavy heart, I have to head home to my own family that depend on me.  We are still worry over both my mom and dad, my mom doing good now, her cancer is in remission, there is no sign of the dreaded cell in her system.  I believe our faith has carried us through the stormy weather, what else can we do during time of turmoil where everything seems helpless.  I trust the Almighty has His reason for everything, we must make good with this opportunity, not everyone get second chance in life.  Go Live, Love and keep faith always.    


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